Wednesday, February 04, 2004

I don't usually do this, but....

The other day I got an interesting letter. I can't vouch for its accuracy, though:

Dear Board of Pomposity,
I was enslaved by Salon, the famous webzine. When Salon was created, I was a goffer, but then one day they stopped paying me. When I complained, these so-called liberals beat me up and locked me in the basement. In order to get food and earn defaction privelleges, I was forced to mine coal and shovel it into the blast furnaces that keep Salons primitive 386 webservers going. It was the most horrific 3 years of my life. I tried to kill myself on several occassions, but I was "rescued' by the guards and my workload was increased and my beating schedule stepped up after each attempt. Thankfully, Salon upgraded to AMD based servers last year. These new servers were powered by the invisible genie of electricity and my labor was no longer needed. After the editor-in-chief of Salon knocked out all my teeth and cut out my tongue, I was finally released. The day I lost my tongue and teeth was the happiest day of my life, because I had gained by freedom. Now I live with the mole people in the subway tunnels beneath New York City since my mutilated appearance horrifies everyone I come in contact with. Even though Salon's editorial board threatened to murder me and my family if I tried to expose their evil journalistic empire, I have come forward. Salon's reign of terror must be stopped and by telling you all this, I hope I have done my part.

Your biggest fan,
"Chad"


Once again, I don't know if its true. But this is quite serious and I thought you might like to know.

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