Saturday, January 24, 2004


From Tacticus:

August J. Pollak has offered some helpful hints for how Howard Dean might get his candidacy back on track by appearing more Presidential. Pollak thinks Dean should:

-Announce proudly that no president has ever done as much as him for human rights
-Dress up in a crotch-accentuating flight suit and land a jet on an aircraft carrier
-Brag repeatedly about a sub-standard college grade point average
-Get arrested for public rowdiness at a football game
-Attempt to recite a cliché adage at a press conference and promptly forget how it goes in the middle of saying it
-Mount, and promptly fall off, an unpowered Segway scooter
-Drop his dog in front of cameras
-Consistently mispronounce the word "nuclear"
-Condescendingly mock the upcoming execution of a death row inmate
-Trade away Sammy Sosa
-Choke on pretzel bits to the point of losing balance and bruising his head
-Attend a public event in which Stevie Wonder is performing and wave to him from the balcony

(Apparently Pollok forgot about the chewing-gum bit and The Clymer Moment.)


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