NEWSMAX IS NOT REAL

Today in the library I observed a fellow student reading NewsMax. When I asked him why he read it over more reputable news sources, he replied that they were not conservative enough. I then suggested that perhaps he should look to fox news for hard hitting, fiercely independent and 100% objective coverage that wouldn't challenge any of his prejudices. This student declined, saying that Fox News wasn't conservative. Well, it maybe a suprise to this student, but NEWSMAX ISN'T NEWS! It is a bunch of conservative hacks supported by ads for viagra supplements and pyramid schemes who churn out right wing propaganda for your enjoyment. Newsmax is as about as professional as this weblog, actually in many ways its worse, because it lacks such luminaries as Thomas Taxter and North Outlandishamn. Just as you wouldn't trust us as a source of real news, you shouldn't trust some no name site that tries to sell you secret medical research that proves cigarrette smoking is good for you or that the medical mainstream is controlled by Hillary Clinton. Also, if a media outlet retells such hackneyed crypto-racist garbage as the imminent threat posed to America by an emerging non-white majority, it should under no circumstances be your main source of news and in fact you should probably not read it at all. If however, you use an organization like NewsMax as your window on the world, I think you automatically surender all your rights as a citizen and human and should have your brain pickled for the benefit of medical students, because clearly you were not using it anyway.